So you’re sitting
in your office cubicle or at a class lecture and daydream about
meeting your favorite group or band. This is typical behavior for
you, but don’t feel guilty. We at Brainberries often have those
moments where we imagine ourselves hanging out with Paul McCarney and
John Lennon, even though they are dead (according to 50 year-old
rumors and actual 1980 assassinations, respectively). Of course,
while you can’t think about the Beatles with imagining McCarney,
Lennon, and all the people, loving for today (ah ah ah). Same deal
with the Rolling Stones. It’s Mick Jagger and Keith Richards
and then a bunch of other names you can’t remember. But then
there are those times when you hear a song on the radio and think,
“That’s the group starring one guy with a few nameless drummers,
guitarists and cowbell players in the background.” So that’s what
we’re going to talk about today, guys. So without further ado, here
are seven bands that you only know for its leading member.
Jim Morrison –
The Doors
Every teenager goes
through a phase in their life where they discover Jim Morrison and
decide to worship him. After all, he was the first genuine bad boy of
rock who would show up on stage drunk, expose himself when it felt
like the right thing to do, and impress everybody with his mediocre
attempts at poetry. He also made the brilliant marketing decision to
die of a drug overdose at 27, leaving him young and sexy in the minds
of rebellious high schoolers for all of eternity. Oh, and we have no
idea who the hell the rest of the Doors are.
Ozzy Osbourne –
Black Sabbath
From time to time
you hear about some kind of story about a rock star doing something
completely insane, only to be heartbroken when you discover that, no,
nobody went on a coke binge, set themselves on fire, jumped out a 10
story building, and still somehow found a way to make it to band
practice later that afternoon. But there is one urban legend that is
actually true: back in 1982 while at a Black Sabbath concert in Des
Moines, Iowa, a fan threw a live bat onto the stage and Ozzy did what
any reasonable person in his position would have done: he bit its
head off. And that, my friends, is what we should all aspire to.
Adam Levine –
Maroon 5
Take a look at
Levine for a second. Don’t worry, you can return to reading this
article once your done. We aren’t going anywhere. Okay, you’re
back. You’ve probably noticed that Levine is
objectively/ridiculously good looking. He’s got the tats. He’s a
good singer, although autotune has helped. His square jaw and thin
lips make you quiver, ladies and some guys. He has done a good job of
cultivating an image of a good guy without coming off as a wuss,
which makes him very marketable. Next, take a look at the rest of his
band. No? How dare you disobey an order! Very well, we’ll do it
for you. The six other guys (yes, Maroon 5 is actually Maroon 5 + 2 –
14 + 14 = 7) range from average guy who the ladies might date if Adam
is not available to the average guy who the ladies don’t want to
date because they are looking for Levine-level of good-lookingness.
Freddy Mercury –
Queen
Say, are you one of
those people who pretended like you really watched biopic Bohemian
Rhapsody but never followed through on it because you didn’t
actually care? We can relate. Here’s a funny fact for you: plans
for a Freddy Mercury movie were years in the making, but it had
trouble getting off the ground because of the direction the other
three members wanted to take. Their idea was to have Mercury die at
the beginning of the movie and then spend the rest of the story
focusing on how the band carried on without him. You know who thought
this was a stupid idea? Literally the rest of the world’s
population, that’s who.
Steve Perry –
Journey
Once upon a time in
the early 1970s, Journey was sort of a “meh” band, wasn’t it?
Then in 1978 Perry took over on vocals and while they continued to be
“meh,” we can all agree that question Perry has a powerful voice
with an impressive octave range, right? If you’re willing to throw
us a bone, would you mind listening to “Lights” and then tell us
he cannot sing? Are you up to the challenge? Yup? Perry left the
group in 1987, briefly returned in 1995 and cranked a couple more
hits, then…traveled off into the sunset? Journey is still around,
but can you name any of the other members? You could Google it, but
wouldn’t that be a waste of keystrokes? Do you like that this
paragraph was nothing more than a series of questions? We think you
do?
Chad Krueger – Nickelback
Some would argue
that Nickelback is the greatest rock group of all time. Others would
take it a step further and suggest that Nickelback – and Nickelback
alone – proves that there is meaning to our existence. I mean, come
on! Look at this photograph, guys. Every time you do, it makes you
loooooool. Nickelback has been performing for 20 years, which is
impressive for a group that nobody ever admits to liking. And it all
starts with Chad Krueger, who once fashioned a curly blond perm that
made all the poodles envious. You might believe that Nickelback
sucks, but one thing is certain: Nickelback sucks.
Gwen Stefani –
No Doubt
I’m not quite a senior citizen, but I am old enough to remember when “Don’t Speak” came out in 1996. Some of our readers were in Pampers back then. More than a few are still insisting on wearing Pampers today. Your choice. Anyway, as I listened to it, I realized even back then that it would be one of those songs that people would still be enjoying years into the future. Well, the future has arrived, folks. Flying cars. Robot armies. Pizza trees. And, yes, Don’t Speak still gets a lot of airplay on radio stations, as do several other of their hits. While this is one of those rare groups where every member’s face is recognizable, Gwen Stefani is the only name any of us remember. Hell, she wasn’t even the only Stefani in the band; starting them group was actually her brother Eric’s idea! Then he left right before No Doubt became successful. We hope he’s a terrible person so that we don’t have to feel sorry for him.
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